31 December 2010




Shell from Waychinnicup Bay.
I dived down as deep as I could on one gulp of air, the pressure of the water about as much as I could take. I grabbed this pretty shell.
I wont be able to do that anymore- no sea diving or sky diving. Here's why...
A couple of years ago, I think Esmé was about 1, I punctured my right lung. Nasty business; air leaks out into your chest cavity and gets trapped there, and starts to collapse the lung. At the hospital, an intern pierced my side with a 10mm ø lance to let out the air ( think fat knitting needle). This was done without anaesthetic. Ow.
Later on they stitched me up, I said "do a good job- I'm a chest-and-abs model" They laughed. (A child could have done better stitching- there goes that career.)

I suspect that this injury was caused by work hazards; maybe an inhaled steel particle? Or some acid fumes?
There is no way to find out for sure. In any case, the experience made me really think hard about looking after my body. I was holding little Esmé whilst on the hospital bed with a 10mm tube hanging out of my side. I am not invincible. I once thought of myself as a solid object- but now understand that we are more like a sponge or a cloud- permeable; vulnerable. Everything passes through us. Take care. We need you.

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